THANK YOU to everyone!

To everyone who has been a part of my life since day one and everyone else who I have met or has touched my life in other ways, along the way:

I truly can not express the tremendous amount of love and support that I felt last Friday night at the Cure for Erica event. I'm so lucky to have all of these people to support me and I can't even begin to explain the feeling. I got to see so many people that I haven't seen in years, some that I haven't even met before, coming to support me. It was just amazing. I am so blessed to have everyone that I have, in my life. 

Specifically, I would like to thank everyone who helped plan, set-up and run the event (You girls know who you are!) Look at what a beautiful job they did:

A special thank you to Jeff Weiss and Paula Pierro for donating the venue, food, alcohol, limo (which was awesome!), staff and more! We could not have done it without you. 
 
Thank you to EVERYONE who came, wanted to come and who sent donations/support in other ways. And Congrats to all who won something! 

Thank you to +Laura Konderwich for being there, virtually. That video was SO amazing and it really touched everyone! I was literally sobbing I think 3 seconds in! I miss you so much. Even more after seeing that :-) But hey, the spring will be here before you know it and you'll be the lucky girl who missed another dreadful winter.

Thank you to every person and company for donating the items and services to auction and to have at the event, which made the whole thing possible. I knew there were a lot of auction items but seeing it all was just insane.

I would have thanked everyone on the microphone but if you know me, I'm kind of shy in those situations and I really don't LOVE to be the center of attention.

Anyways, I had SUCH a great weekend overall :-)

In addition, it really is just incredible to see a small community like Hudson, NY & surrounding areas come together for my family and me. I can't even believe all of the fundraisers that were put together, on top of the Cure for Erica, just to help us out. To name a few, the HHS Girls Volleyball game, Hot Diggity's Pizza Sales (I think I had a "slice" or 3 of pizza on this day, including a Cannoli), Devil's Fury Motorcycle Ride & Lunch at Kozels, Melino's fundraiser, Zumbathon, HHS Powder Puff game, Lia Sofia/Thirty-One/Arbonne Sales, Greenport Firehouse Chicken Dinner Sales, and even more! I apologize if I missed any other specific ones but know that they were all equally appreciated!!

I wish I had the resources to thank everyone individually because everyone makes a difference. Everyone helps me get through every day and I wouldn't be able to get through this without you all!

THANK YOU ALL!!

Medical Update
I started my first cycle of just chemotherapy pills on the Monday after the event (November 11th). The dosage was double of what I was on during radiation. The first few days, I was ok, just really tired. I actually slept, not only through the whole night, but for 9-10+ hours, each night. I went home to Hudson Mon-Wed just to be safe. Mom's always know what to do in these types of situations (or at least they are good at faking it) and I wanted to be home JUST IN CASE. So, because I was feeling okay, I came back up to my apartment and just got even more tired each day, I think by Thursday I slept 12-13+ hours. If you know me at all, this is NOT like me, usually 6-7 hours works. 
 
Then the weekend came along, I took my last pill of the cycle on Friday, and that was when I started feeling pretty cruddy. I didn't actually throw up but my stomach was NOT okay and my whole body was just kind of sore and exhausted feeling. Eventually, by the following Wednesday, I went back to work. I was still tired but wasn't feeling sick anymore.

During my 23 days off from the chemo, I was able to go back to doing normal things!

As part of this whole new routine, I have to get blood work at least every 2 weeks and follow-up appointments every 4.

I had my first post-chemotherapy blood work on Thursday, November 21st and my white blood cell counts and neutrophils (in layman's terms -  the "fighter" white blood cells) were pretty low. The nurse who went over it with me said that it wasn't that bad and that I should be okay but she'll have the doctor call me if she wants me to come back.

Turns out, the nurse was wrong about what the threshold of critically low or should be okay is. I caught someone's cold within a couple days of this, as expected when these counts are low. Then on the following Monday, November 25th, I get a phone call that I need to come back in as soon as possible for more blood work to make sure my counts were improving or else we'd have to deal with that or possibly push treatments back. This was the week of Thanksgiving so of course, Wednesday was all booked and they were closed Thursday and Friday. AND I was in Newburgh, NY at an all day training for work on that Monday, that leaves Tuesday to go in.

So Tuesday, I go in, they are still low, but better. This nurse was a lot more thorough, she said that although the counts improved, they are still pretty low and that I should avoid being around crowds, be careful at buffet style Thanksgiving (ie. I should eat first), wash my hands as much as possible, etc. She said last weeks should have been considered critically low. I'm now thinking, jeez, if I have to do all these precautions now, what should I have done last week?

My next appointment for both blood work AND my appointment with the Doc is December 6th. Hopefully all of my counts will be in range again so I can start the pills again on the 9th.

Weird cosmetic mishap, my eyebrows are pretty much nonexistent. They started to thin out during radiation but are almost completely gone, somehow, more than 8 weeks later. I called and they said sometimes this happens and that the radiation was in my eyebrow area but they were not expecting them to actually fall out. They are all hopeful for regrowth. And SO AM I! I had to purchase some eyebrow kit from Sephora so I'm getting kind of good at that but let me tell you, it is a pain. I actually have to give myself at LEAST 15 minutes early to apply. It's alright though. It surprisingly stays on really well!

Not medically related, I have gotten about 5% of my Christmas shopping done. Not good!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving :-)

<3 Erica


 

 

Positive News

It has been a while!

As most people know, I have been on a "break" since Tuesday, October 15th. This just means, no radiation or chemo. I had to continue taking some meds (anti-seizure & steroids) but I'm tapering off of those now, slowly.

During my break, I felt pretty darn well. Minus several (semi-short and out of nowhere) bouts of tiredness and fatigue, a few headaches and a couple of emotional break downs, I think it was a great (almost) 4 weeks. My hair did continue to fall out during the first week of my break, which I was told would happen and they said I would feel really tired for the first few weeks as well. Good news is, I got bangs which really cover up the hair loss. Thanks to Laurie Wordon for being a hair dresser. Something that I learned over the past few years, having a mother who can double as a hair dresser can really save you some big bucks! Who would have thought a real salon charges well over $100 to get your hair colored. WHAT THE HECK!

Anyways, I waited to post for long because of two reasons: (1) I had nothing really too interesting to say because I was back to work full time and back to normal and (2) no medical updates. I didn't even have to give blood for the entire 4 weeks!

But today... I had my first ever follow-up MRI post-radiation, an appointment with Dr. Weaver  (neuro-oncologist) and an appointment with Dr. Chandra (radiologist). The MRI was at 7:30am, Dr. Weaver at 11am and Dr. Chandra at 1:30pm. The MRI took longer than I remember, I think 45 minutes. Plus I had to have contrast so that's a needle in the right arm. Then before all Dr. Weaver appointments, I have to have blood drawn, needle in the left. AND I don't even want to talk about taking that extremely sticky tape off. OUCH! Dr. Chandra visits are usually short and sweet but today was not. We were finally done by around 2:30pm. Talk about a long day in the life of a patient. Not to mention the waiting period in between the MRI and the first discussion on it, 2 hours later. I didn't really tell anyone about it because it is just one of those things where keeping it private is best, until the good news is ready to be spread....

The images came back "beautiful" according to Dr. Weaver and "looked good" according to Dr. Chandra. They showed no enhancement, the empty cavity (the part of my brain that was removed during the surgery) is now filled with brain fluid (this is normal) and then the area around the cavity showed the standard post-radiation swelling type of thing. She referred to this as the new baseline where they will look for changes at each MRI (T2 Flair I think?). To say the least, we were all relieved. I finally was able to relax. The only semi-not positive thing was that my "fighter" white blood cells were down a little but that is also common during the break. The count will determine each time what the dose will be, if it changes, and if there will be a delay in the following cycle.

Below is a picture of my "celebration" cocktail with Mr. Matthew "Matty 1c3" Bonocore, Meg Kelly (always gets a full name shout out) & my girl, Alyssa. The ladies had wine, while Matt sipped on a little Jack on the rocks. Everyone was so excited for me and I loved it!

The girls also pretty much finished everything for the event tomorrow night. They have done SUCH an amazing job, since the initial idea, that it makes me want to cry. I don't think anyone realizes how much work was put in. It's crazy and GREATLY appreciated. I love you guys! You know who you are!!

Not to mention, today's results will now make this weekend that much sweeter.

The next step is to start my 5/23 day cycles of chemo. Back to the anti-nausea meds and Temodar. The dosage is almost double from what I was taking originally, when it was combined with the radiation. I hope to start on Monday, November 11th, as long as the mail order company can ship it in time! They have been pretty good so far. Based on the dosage being so high, the doctor recommended that I take some time off from work. They said that I may handle it perfectly with little to no side effects but on the flip side, the first cycle may be really harsh and make me sick and tired. Hoping for the former, obviously, but took the time off, just-in-case. Oddly enough, talking to other Temodar users, the fist 2-3 days of the 5 days of pills are usually easy but then days 4-5 and extended through 7-10 days, will be when I will feel the side effects. We'll see! Keep your fingers crossed for none though!

From here on out, I will have blood work done every 2 weeks, appointments with Dr. Weaver every 4 weeks, MRI's every 3 months and a follow-up appointment with Dr. Chandra in 6 months. Blood work and MRIs now come as naturally to me as brushing my teeth every day. Piece of cake.

I chose to start on November 11th because I (typical nerdy Erica) created a spreadsheet of every known holiday, planned event or trip, birthday, wedding etc. over the next year. If I waited until the following Monday, the chemo days would have a major impact on both Thanksgiving, Christmas and some other events so I asked to start a little early. They agreed!

Ok, that's my update!

I am SUPER excited to see all of my friends and family, including some that I haven't seen in years while others I was hanging out with tonight. I guess I will also be meeting new people. One person I am really going to miss is my love +Laura Konderwich but I know she is doing awesome in Thailand!!! Special thank you to her for doing SO much in her few weeks leading up to her departure. She is an amazing girl.

I wish I could individually thank every person who helped plan and organize the event, those who donated items and/or services to make the event possible and every single person that is going to attend. You are all amazing. Here is an overall THANK YOU. I cannot begin to explain how much I appreciate everything. It is truly amazing! And for those of you who are unable to attend, thank you for all of the cards, donations, gifts and other support over the past 3-4 months. Also thank you to everyone who held their own fundraisers, on my behalf. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I wish I could express it even more.

Now I really am done!

Have a good night people!

<3 Erica Nicole

Radiation? Check!

Felt SO good to not have to go in for radiation on Tuesday. I mean, I'll miss the techs but I can always go visit them! I met some really nice people: the techs, nurses, admin staff, other patients, radiation doctor obviously etc. Some patients were more fun to talk to than others so I got some contact info!

On Monday, my exit interview (as I like to call it) was quick and went pretty well. The nurse told me the following tips and info:

1. Side effects will last another few weeks , including, but not limited to:

A. Definite extreme fatigue which I really notice around 1-3pm daily. They said I need to listen to my body and rest. It's hard when I'm at work to even request leaving to nap because I usually get a second wind around 4:30-5 but apparently it's not because I'm tired from lack of sleep, I actually, medically need more.

B. Potentially more hair loss in the same areas. I think it cover it up pretty damn good. I think people would be shocked if they saw how much was really bald. When I curl it (which I started doing) and pin it just the perfect way, I think it's pretty unnoticeable. The wind causes a big problem because it does need to stay perfectly in place but I'll just make sure to always carry a mirror with me to fix it once I'm inside! The other problem is that I won't be able to put my hair up ever without a headband or scarf but that's not a huge deal, I hate my hair up anyways, except for the sock bun which looks cute with a scarf. Anywho!

2. Continue to use gentle products on scalp and face and continue to use aquafor daily for at least another month then can switch to a lotion. She said the skin marks from the mask (which I creepily took, see below- I threw it out already) will eventually go away. 

3. No sun for a full year on my face or scalp. I guess I will be healthier in the long run!

4. Healthy diet. Okay, so I took this one really far. I am going to go Kris Carr (Google her) style, which includes no added sugar, no artificial sweeteners, no caffeine, no alcohol, no white stuff AND vegan. I was already doing most of these and I started vegan this weekend and it hasn't been bad. I actually made really good meals so far and have done my research on restaurants around the area! 

This is a spicy peanut sriracha sauce over pan fried tofu. It actually tasted AMAZING but I will say these recipes take a lot of preparation time. Now I know so I will have to plan accordingly. This same night, I bought John some steak tips to pour the sauce over and he made a wrap out of it! 

And John got me this amazing veggie slicer/pasta maker. I used it finally (3 months later) and literally was amazed at how it made this zucchini turn into fasta (fake pasta- get it?) so last night I made a similar peanut sauce over pasta. It was a cold dish which I love. He had real pasta I had zucchini! So good. Also got a good processor which I see in a lot of recipes.

Back on the "healthy diet" when I say "no" to all of those things, in my case, that doesn't mean ever. Let's be honest, I am going to enjoy myself a cocktail, piece of cake, etc at special occasions, birthdays, holidays, events.. But I'm really going to make those things treats or exceptions, not the norm. The meat I have no problem doing without, never been my thing. I'm not even sure if I eat turkey on thanksgiving. I'm more of a side junkie (started pinning a ton of ideas.) The eggs and cheese are a little tough but they have great substitutes. Alyssa actually made me these AMAZING vegan oatmeal cookies with unsweetened applesauce and bananas. (Thank you, love you!) I already drink almond milk so I'm all set there. Also, I'm not going to be mrs. Omg made in an animal/dairy facility, don't touch it! More or less just not the obvious stuff, ie. I won't eat a bacon egg and cheese on a white hard roll with a glass of milk. (Although that sounds good lol) 

And alcohol, not having it for 3 months has really been crazy, especially with my group of friends, especially with people who grew up in Hudson where it was, sadly, all we did. And I'm 24, it is all that a majority of my friends do. I mean, everyone was willing to not drink and go out hard core because I have the most amazing friends and family but the usual weekends consisted of where to pre-game, how to get around and coming home at 3-4am. This was then followed by a very hung over, unproductive next day including really unhealthy foods (if the drive thru wasn't hit up the night before or both) and laziness. So I'm thinking, make those weekends special, not the norm. I will enjoy my occasional drink, maybe even at dinner tonight (new world bistro- so good) but that doesn't mean I need to drink a "personal" bottle of anything (college people will know what this means lol). Everyone is different but I think I will be happy not living the way I did before all this. Remember my whole weekend? Have no stupid fights with anyone? Don't embarrass myself? Don't mind if I do! Plus seeing other people act the way I used to was a real eye opener. It really is funny. And hey, now maybe people will just have to use me as a personal chauffeur. Tips accepted. 

Anyways, back on food, There really are just so many options! Just need to do a little research and preparation! Ok, in my case, a lot of research and a lot of preparation. Wish me luck!!

5. Stay on all meds except for anti-nausea and chemo pill. Will taper as directed by my oncologist. 

6. "Congratulations!"

Then the doctor came in, said my scarf looked good and that he'd see me in a few weeks. Awkward but funny and "cute" according to some.

On top of the delicious cookies and sweet card from Alyssa. I also got beautiful flowers from my mom, a really cute gift from Lizzie and a super sweet card from John. Love you guys!! Thanks!

I have an appointment this Friday with Dr. Weaver, my oncologist for my usual, 2 week follow up, blood work, etc. So far, so good. And she's really just so sweet and easy to talk to! May have said this in my last blog but if not, we discussed and I'm planning on starting my 5/23 Temodar cycles on the week of Nobember 11th. I plan on updating this as it gets closer and I have more info! 

What else? The weekend of October 26th, I plan on being in Hudson for a few events that some great people set up, including the Melino's event. I'm hoping to see a lot of my friends who I haven't had the chance to in a while! It should be a fun night. I mean, is any night at Melinos not worth it? I was also thinking of maybe doing the headless horseman on that Friday or maybe Sunday (Cody and Nicole, I know you aren't Internet savvy but I didn't forget about you guys asking) Anyone else interested?? I might get tickets this week for it so let me know!

SO SAD, don't even want to say it but my bestie, Laura is also leaving America that weekend to grace Thailand with her presence! Laura the Explorer!!! Love that girl and can't wait to figure out the best time to video chat with her!! 

As always, thanks for keeping up with me! Hope I didn't forget anything!

<3 Erica

Is it Columbus Day yet?

Hi blog readers!

Beware: I got a little collage happy on this one. (Inside joke: colleague happy, college happy, etc) 

Since my last post...

1. SARANAC LAKE: Saranac was amazing! The foliage was just beautiful. It's really nice to appreciate that stuff. We had some awesome meals, walked around Lake Placid, went fishing. We both caught HUGE sunnys. (Lol) We really did relax and I loved every second of it. 

2. RACE FOR HOPE: Thank you to everyone who purchased t-shirts and went to the Race for Hope last Saturday. The pictures all look so amazing and I heard the turnout was awesome. Thanks to my roomies Meg and Alyssa for organizing everything and being there!! I can't thank everyone enough. I have also met some amazing people online, in similar situations (Ashley Putz) who participated, beat her record and supported me!! Amazing people in this world. I hear Team Erica was quite the spectacle! I also saw some faces I didn't expect to see and I loved it!!

3. VOLLEY FOR ERICA: Thank you to Chuck Peters, the HHS volleyball team and other helpers for setting up the volley for Erica game at Hudson. The candy sales and donations received were unbelievable and I truly can't express my gratitude to everyone who participated in the event. The girls looked amazing, wearing my #11 on their arms. So sweet! 

4. HOTT DIGGITYS PIZZA SALES: Thank you to Digger, his staff and all the other amazing helpers to make the pizza sales today! I was really glad I got to stop in and see everyone! Means so much to me. It's a very overwhelming, yet a happy and heartwarming feeling to see the sign, all of those Erica bucks on the walls and all the people who were in and out in just those 30 minutes I was there. Thank you so much to everyone for your support! And I hope everyone enjoyed their pies as much as I did, and maybe a cannoli. (Yes - I cheated hard core this weekend but I think it was worth it!) The outcome for this was truly amazing.

5. MERRIL HOGE: A friend of mine from home, Erica Ginsberg, reached out to me a little while back regarding a retired NFL player who suffered from lymphoma. He e-mailed me this really nice, inspiring e-mail. At the time, I didn't realize how cool it actually was. It wasn't until I saw him talking on ESPN and was informed that he is on there, all the time. Pretty cool if you ask me! Maybe I could have used his help in my Fantasy draft. Not doing so hot anymore. But really, thank you for that!

6. ALOPECIA (scientific name for hair loss): Dr. Chandra told me today that it most likely will not grow back. He said maybe on the right side but probably not on the left side. Also from some discussions I have had, it is expected to continue to fall out after the break for 1-2 weeks. My eyebrow thins a wee bit every day but apparently I'm the only one who can actually notice. I got my mom to finally admit that she can see it but she said you'd really have to focus in on it to notice. That's good news. And right now, I can't do eyebrow pencil or any make-up from my eye lid up, instead it's slathered in my favorite, Aquafor. It is a greasy, Vaseline type of stuff that I have the pleasure of applying as frequently as needed. The perfect addition to already oily skin and hair. This will last another month, at least. Oh yeah, and it's getting SUPER itchy on the bald/balding spots.

As for my hair on my head, wigs will not work unless I have to shave my head completely bald because they just don't stay on. I have too much hair at the moment. And personally, I would like to keep it that way. Cheers to insurance reimbursement on them.

Headbands are also not recommended at the moment due to irritation and what not but may eventually come in handy again soon. I now just cover it up as best as I can with the hair from the other side. Each day gets easier and more relaxed. At first, I'm thinking "strangers are judging me because they don't know what is going and they're thinking, wow that girl needs a hair makeover" but now I'm thinking "whatever, I can just inform them that my oncologist gave me this hair cut."

After a couple weeks into the break, I should have a pretty good idea of the overall hair loss, head and eyebrow and then figure out a new cut or style, master the eyebrow pencil, etc. Hopefully it doesn't get too much worse until then. Prayers :-)
 

7. FATIGUE: This is really new for me. Friday, I had to lay down after work for over an hour then Saturday, I actually fell asleep in my hand, in the car, with John mid-sentence and BPM radio on, not quiet. For those of you who know me well enough, I am not a napper and I rarely get tired so to fall asleep in a car with noise, I knew it had to do with the treatments.

I may have said this in my last post but I have been waking up REALLY early too, pre alarm. Which is not like me at all. So I'm tired from treatments and from general, lack of sleep. A highly toxic combination for someone else to deal with if I'm already grumpy. Several times in the past couple weeks, I woke up so early that I just decided to go to work. It is kind of creepy actually coming in with all the lights off. I figured out there is a button called "Lighting Override" that needs to be pressed in order to turn the lights on. I sat in the dark one morning with my desk overhead lights only. Not cool haha.

8. FOREHEAD/EYE LID: Red, irritated and itchy. I think the aquafor is helping though. The big thing that I notice is the mask marks on my forehead now. It's so strange. See picture below that I had them take today. You can actually see those lines/marks on my forehead, 24/7. I'm assuming it will get worse for the next 5 treatments but they said it will go away over time. AND I can't cover it up with any make-up, yet. So I deal with it and hope people don't notice.

 

9. COLUMBUS DAY: is my last day of radiation treatment. Hallelujah. Apparently people have mini celebrations on this day. I'm not sure what mine will be but I do want to maybe have a piece of something that includes sugar.

10. TEMODAR 5/23 CYCLES: Starting the 5/23 cycles November 10-11, tentatively. The Sunday-Monday after the fundraiser. More info to come!

11. FIRST CYCLE TIME OFF: Was told by both my doc and fellow patients that I met online that the first cycle can be a bit overwhelming. They said I will probably be extremely fatigued and that I should listen to my body and rest. So, I am taking some recommended time from work to do just that. So grateful for everyone who donated time to me. Times like these, it really means more to me than I can express.

12. UPCOMING EVENTS: October 26 - Motorcycle Ride set up by the Devil's Fury MC crew at Kozels and Melino's fundraiser event. I really hope I can make it to both of these! I put the facebook links for anyone interested. THANK YOU SO MUCH to both groups for setting these up. I love to see hometown friends and family get together :-) And I mean, we all love Melino's, let's just be honest.
Ride for Erica
Melino's Fundraising Event

13. FEELINGS UPDATE: I have had several discussions over the past week regarding my emotions/feelings or lackthereof. I just want everyone to know that I'm not really an "awww, everything is going to be okay" type of girl. As my mom put it, I'm more of the "cut and dry" type. I like to get straight to the point. I don't like when people feel sorry for me. I don't like to be the center of attention. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that people care about me and I LOVE attention on the individual basis but I have a hard time with being the CENTER of every one's attention (ie. public speaking - Glassophobia; anyone see that commercial?). I don't like to be called up in front of crowds or be 'honored' in front of a lot of people. I appreciate the honors but I would prefer to receive them privately and in return thank everyone privately or via social media. I'm more of a one arm, double tap on the back hugger, cheek-to-cheek air kisser than a hold me so tight because you want me to know you care. I love everyone and I know that everyone cares and I appreciate it so much.

I appreciate all the fundraising events being held, more than I can express and I would love if I could attend all of them, as long as I don't have to be standing there, with everyone staring at me, feeling sorry for me. I stopped by Hot Diggity's on Saturday and that was great, it was just a nice event, social, got to talk to people one-on-one. I like that stuff. I didn't feel overwhelmed. Just happy. Glennpeters also offered for me to wear one of their crowns on the night of the big event. I'm assuming most girls would be thrilled but I think I might have to politely pass. That's just not my thing. Besides some moments where I have had too much to drink in college, I don't really like to be sung to alone on my birthday, open gifts in front of people, etc. I'm WEIRD, I know but I'm just being honest. I'd rather share my family birthday party with my cousin Lexi where we're both sung to at the same time. 

I have been told that maybe I'm the one that is different, maybe it's a Wordon thing (I love my mom but it is definitely not a Garcia trait). Not really the mushy, emotional type. I mean I cry but I would prefer to do it in the comfort of my own bed, alone, get it out, get over it and move on. I don't really like to be told it's okay in those moments because if I'm crying I don't think it is okay in that moment but I can guarantee that I will realize that it actually is okay when I'm done. I just don't need other people to inform me of that. I don't know if it's an independence issue or what.

I also love when I see people that I haven't seen in a while and I hear a nice, simple, something along the lines of... "how are you doing? you look great." That I like. I can answer. I'm actually doing really well for the most part, minus the cosmetic stuff, I feel pretty good so I'm glad I look good! On the contrary, I have somewhat of a hard time with the emotional back rub and the sympathetic, somewhat mopy "but really, how are you doing, I'm sure this is tough." No Shit it's tough but I'm not mopy. Don't make me feel like I should be!! I also have a really tough time hearing that it hits home for certain people because XYZ died from cancer. That isn't a real comforting feeling. I am NOT, in any way being insensitive. I truly feel really bad for that person but I think I have a hard time with it because I have a hard time with other people being upset. Unlike me, who would rather be upset alone and not be bothered. I think there are a lot of people who want to be comforted and told that everything is going to be okay and that it is going to get better, etc. I just want to know what the next step is, straight to the point. Keep living life, doing my daily activities (minus the radiation soon), etc. It's hard for me to treat someone the way they want to be treated because chances are, I wouldn't want it that way. I need to work on that!

When I am venting and/or complaining about something related to what is going on with me, chances are, I want to be agreed with, not have someone trying to down play the situation. Just say, "yeah, that sucks" or whatever phrase is better than sucks. Maybe, unfortunate but in either case, it just is what it is. There is no making better of it. And I'm not saying that in a negative way at all. I just think, let's all be honest here, if it was you, you would be feeling the same way. Do I have any followers? Maybe not on this one, lol.

Like the hair thing, Number 6. For me, I'd rather hear, that sucks, sorry you have to deal with it. Moving on, next topic, how to cover it after I'm done. I appreciate everyone telling me that they still think I look beautiful and I'm still Erica and my face hasn't changed but really, let's not all down play what is going on here. You know what I mean. I think.

It's just the way I feel and I really hope that I am not making anyone feel bad about what they did or said because no one knows what to do or say. I completely understand that but now everyone has better idea of what not to do or say, with me at least, in my situation.

I hope that wasn't too negative because I love everyone still, the same, as always!

14. TORRE: Bryan and Nichole got a new puppy this weekend, compliments of Meg's brother. She is an EXTREMELY cute, large, playful, loving, happy pup. I went home yesterday to do the pizzas and see the pooch. Bryan just sent me this cute picture. I think he finally tired her out. I can't wait to babysit!!! Aunt Erica!

NOW THAT I MADE EVERYONE BORED WITH MY FEELINGS UPDATE....

                 **Things can always be worse... so smile :-)

XOXO
<3 Erica



 

Getaway

Hi all!

It has been a little while since my last fun, positive post! 

I wanted to let everyone know that I have 12 radiation days left and since my last post, I started to lose my hair, like a lot of it, since Sunday, every stinkin' day. So far I have managed to part it wayyyyy over to the right and cover up my, oh so beautiful bald spot/receding hair line. Pretty much all that grew back since surgery on the left side is gone and literally dead center of my head back is just bald.

And the left side of my forehead is getting really red. It doesn't really burn or anything but it's called "radiation burn." It just looks really irritated and red and blemished and obviously I can't put any make up on it at all. 

And I noticed my left eyebrow, a few hair falling out here and there each day. I'm really trying SO hard to not let it all bother me but it's tough. I really don't know how I will handle a missing eyebrow. Probably have my second emotional break down. But until then, the thinning calls for a little brow pencil.

It's all a little more frustrating because even though I "expected" it, it doesn't matter. It's totally different once it actually happens. And the doctor said it will probably just thin. Yesterday the nurse said "yeah we weren't expecting you to lose that much." Like that's great to hear people. They need to be more negative at the get go. Tell me I'm going to lose it all so when I lose a little I'm happy not surprised! I also went to Jean Paul to see what they could do to cover it and he said I'm doing a pretty good job and I should leave it alone for now because you never know what else might happen. He's right. At this point, pretty much everything people "expected" wasn't this case so I'm going to stop expecting and just let shit (please excuse my language) happen and deal with it!!

And the fatigue has been unbearable! I feel like a zombie. But I still wake up at like 4:45am and can't fall back asleep. It's crazy. I wake up like wide awake, ready to get the day going and then later in the day I'm exhausted! So this morning, the new standard 4:45 hits so I decided to shower and be to work by 6:30am instead of just laying in bed with my eyes wide open. So my mom picked me up at the office and we went and I was done by 8:25 (they took me early) and back to work I went. By 2pm I was literally about to take a nap out in my car. And of course I can never fall asleep by 10 either. 

Anyways, the purpose of telling everyone all of this is because I decided that I am not going to participate in the race this weekend. I appreciate everyone who bought t-shirts and signed up and I apologize if anyone was coming to see me but frankly, this weekend, I don't want to be seen. I want to RELAX. Maybe hiding a little but just let me for one weekend. I have been doing way too much. And the minute that John found out about my wishes, he booked us a little Inn at Saranac Lake where I have never been! I'm really excited to go there and just relax. Don't want to, don't have to, see, talk or answer to anyone! (Except my mom- she gets special treatment, especially after that slap.)

Anyways, things are moving along. Just can't wait for it to be over! These moments I have been having are the ones that really make you realize how silly and insignificant it was/is to stress over the small stuff. It's okay to care about things but it can be taken too far. Remember that things can always be worse. Always. 

Thank you guys again for the t's, race and all other donations and gifts! It really shows how great people can be. It makes me tear up every time :-) 

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

<3 Erica

Time to take a chill pill...

Hola!

I wanted to clear up a few things that I have been asked by more than 1 person over the past couple weeks:
(1) Radiation treatment is Monday-Friday, NOT one day a week but five
(2) I take a chemotherapy pill, every day of the week, all seven
(3) I am not sensitive to loud noises anymore (unless I'm trying to sleep of course)
(4) I am back at work full-time, with the exception of my daily treatments, appointments or any other medical situations

So even though I may or may not have said I didn't want this to get too "personal," I think it is a little late for that...

Let me begin by saying, this weekend was the first time that I actually had an emotional break-down. I'm talking Saturday 1am until I fell asleep, Sunday at 8am immediately when I woke up, Sunday on my drive to Hudson and Sunday on my drive back to Albany. I think a total of 3.5-4 hours. BUT from what I have read and heard, everyone has to have these moments, then you let them pass, and MOVE ON.

I think I was so scared since I started on September 3rd (15 days ago - 30 left) that I just kept everything bottled up. I was making myself more anxious over everything that I had to go through and making it harder for me and some people that I really love a lot.

For example, I was FREAKING out about having to take the medicine on this strict schedule and have "special" toiletres. So I would be over dramatic and say I can't go ANYWHERE or do ANYTHING without having to deal with all this medicine and toiletres. WHAT IF I GET SICK? Complaining about "never being able to have a sip of alcohol again or go out with friends." I mean - that's not even true. Not even close.

And I really realized that this past week. I think I went out to dinner 5+ times, went to a bar, went apple picking, hung out with friends, etc... Yeah, it was a little different than I would have been 3 months ago but not in a bad way. It's actually kind of fun being sober and realizing how "funny" (that's my word of choice over my original word I thought of) everyone else acts and it's also kind of nice going home by midnight and not staying out until 3am and having a really crappy following day. Maybe I'm growing up a little, a little more mature, and I don't hate it!!

And, as it turns out, it's really not that big of a deal to bring the medicine along with me, my extra 'travel' case of meds really comes in handy. I just keep it on me at all times so now I even think I could do some last minute stuff. As for the timing of taking it, I have been lucky that I don't get sick so as long as I have my cell phone on me to remind me of the time, I can take them really anywhere, not ONLY while laying in MY BED at MY APARTMENT. Talk about dramatics. I would probably make a pretty good actress, you can ask my mom. One time she "slapped" me and by slap, I mean she put her hand on my shoulder, and I threw my entire body across the room, onto the floor and started crying. The woman has never even really raised her voice let alone slapped us. Mind you - I think this was the time I got caught sneaking out of my house in high school with my partner in crime, Breanne.

And as toiletres goes, I mean, I normally would just have to bring my regular toiletres anyways. Get over it, Erica.

As you're reading this, you might be wondering where I'm considering "traveling" to and from. A lot of this is all related to spending the night at my boyfriend John's apartment, which is less than 10 minutes away. A lot of it also has to do with me complaining to HIM mostly about all of these negative things. Making it seem like I will never be the same Erica as I used to be and that going out is unacceptable. AND I realized, that he has also been dealing with a LOT, not just me and we haven't been together for all that long and he still is here. We both need to compromise, not just him. I am actually really lucky that I have him and I love him for putting up with all of this so far. I love him either way but still.

Anyways, this is where, "Time to take a chill pill..." comes from. I have had no extreme negative side effects yet. Why am I acting like I have every possible one? Now is not the time to be anxious, stressed or dramatic. I need to save it. As treatments continue, I will be more tired and most likely need to sleep a lot more, relax more, etc. I will also most likely lose at LEAST some hair in the treatment areas. My skin will get worse on my forehead. BUT IT ISN'T RIGHT NOW. TODAY. Which is how everyone should live, in the moment, not constantly thinking about the future. That is no fun for anyone. It causes more stress than needed.

Truly Medical Update
Speaking of side effects, I have started having some minor ones. I am starting to feel more tired/fatigued than normal but nothing that I have been worried about yet. But the more major of the minor side effects is that I am already starting to have the irritated, red, itchy, sometimes burning feeling, on my scalp and forehead. I guess radiation acne is also something that can occur, or at least that's what I am calling it. It's like a rash but red bumps. Not too bad yet, but for me, 1 bump is like the end of the world. AND I can't put my make-up on it. Too many chemicals and other ingredients. I think fragrances are the enemy. Yikes!

My next goal is to research fragrance free, organic products; make-up, dry shampoo, lotions, etc. I have a gift card to Sephora. They have to have SOMETHING I can use. I'm also going to this Look Good Feel Better class tonight at the American Cancer Society's Hope Club.
http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/

Ok, so I feel better now that I got all that out. Also, if anyone is wondering, I am going to Woodstock this weekend with my mom, Aunt Nikki, Lexi and Nonny and I'm pretty excited about it. Rain or shine, we're going. That's why rain jackets, boots and umbrellas were invented!

I have also been receiving some really thoughtful, amazing, kind, generous (I could go on forever with adjectives) donations, letters, thoughts, gifts & other support. Each one means SO MUCH to my family and me. I can't even express it enough. I feel like I say that a lot but I really mean it.

My mom also is in the process of moving today and during this move she must have sent me at least 20 old pictures that she found. Most of them are really funny/cute. They also include her and Rich back in the day. Those are classic. I think this is my favorite one so far that she found of Bryan and me.

Ok, peace everyone. Love you all.

Forgot to say...

I saw my radiation doc today. Last week my blood pressure was really low so they said to drink even more water, if possible. And today it was back to normal!

And also it's crazy how the process of going into the "Grave Danger Very High Radiation" room, laying down and being positioned on the table, clipping down the mask, moving the table all 6 times and moving the machine, then taking off the mask and putting the table back down to a step-down level, takes about 90% of the whole time it seems like.

Work update- Today I'm going out in the field to work at a client which I'm excited about. Get some client interaction in :-) Just patiently awaiting some co-workers to meet me.... 

Also, I'm over the headbands for right now. While my hair is still intact. They're kind of hot and itchy and make my scalp where the surgery line is really red. No thank you!!!! Free for all!

Belated Birthday Blog

Hi all...

Medical Update

I still have not had any major side effects from the radiation and chemotherapy treatments. My hair seems to still be fully in place. I'm noticing my skin is changing
a little. A bit more red and kind of dry, sometimes itchy. Hopefully wont be too much worse.

I also have not been sleeping well at all. Since Monday I think I was unable to get more than 4-5 hours per night. Not only have I been unable to fall asleep early, I wake up several times per night, but anytime I wake up after 3:30am, I can't fall back asleep because I have a bad stomach ache. Not really nauseous but not good. It has happened Tuesday - Friday. Then, last night up until about 3am and woke up at 8am. Just really the tiredness & fatigue is getting to me. Making me a little stressed, anxious a little, edgy, really trying to work on all that!

I was able to enjoy some nice dinners and time spent this past week for my birthday with my family and friends. Just had to remember to take my meds with me; annoying but doable.

Also for the record, loud noises don't bother me anymore. Common misconception that I have noticed. That was a post-surgery side effect. Now the only time noise bothers me would be if I'm exhausted and trying to sleep. 

The hardest part so far had been the timing of the medication and the fear/anxiety of how it might affect me if I'm not home. For example, I went to Philly Bar on Saturday to see some friends and try to enjoy myself. I got myself a nice seltzer with lime. No alcohol is really growing on me and I'm realizing how much more grown up/mature I feel already. But anyways... I had to remember to pull out my handy sandwich  baggies that I had to prepare prior to going with the meds inside, sneak them back at the table, two different times because its on the strict time schedule. Hoping I don't get sick because it was my first time taking it and not going right to bed after. I didn't get sick! Thank god. But still look forward to never having to go through this again. 

The radiation is going by quicker it seems like maybe just because I'm getting used to it. I'm becoming good friends with the technicians. I brought them cookies which they said were gone within one hour. I also counted this last time, the one kid comes in 6 different times to move the table. It's a button on the end of the bed, and he moves it to the right angle, each time the machine also moves around. So I'm in 6 different angles, getting radiated on for what seems to be 15-30 seconds each time maybe 10 times. That could be totally wrong because I'm just counting in my head. 

My birthday was really awesome though because I have some amazing people who really made that happen. And they know who they are :-)

Now I'm going to take the meds and try to go to bed by 10 so I can get some real sleep tonight! Wish me luck people... 

Countdown until my little no treatment break - about 4 weeks and 1 day! Someone actually got me 45 days worth of scratch off tickets that I scratch 1, each day closer to being done. I have won $3 so far. 

Also got this amazing thing in the mail..

Loved it! Thank you! 

Also, wanted to thank everyone else as well for all the birthday wishes, gifts, kind donations, and as always, support. Love you all for that. 

Sleepy Saturday

Top of the morning to ya,

I started, what I would call, an awesome post on Thursday night that included lots of updates, thoughts, feelings, pictures, etc. Then I kept adding to it as things came about, like when we had to pull over on i90 last night because we thought we ran out of gas and the next rest stop was 26 miles. Then... I accidentally deleted it. 

So anyways- it started about how much I normally hate packing to go away for a weekend but how now it's even worse when you have to think about, scarves and/or other head coverings, special shampoo, special face wash, special lotion, 8 medications (9 if you count two separate doses of Temodar), what there will be to eat at the wedding, what if I get sick, f---, I just want to enjoy myself. But then I thought, I can at least make packing toiletries and medicine more fun. So I went to a craft store and Marshall's and bought these little containers, bedazzled them like a child, and labelled them. And bought this cute Steve Madden case to carry them all! 

Also, I started thinking, "special" toiletries aren't actually a big deal, especially when you can just purchase them all, OTC, at your local neighborhood pharmacy. They're just a little more expensive than I am used to but thats why I love CVS coupons (saved $10 on Thursday). I just got a little dramatic while packing, to say the least. The worst part of the medications is the TIMING. I have to be on top of it at all times because I'm pretty sure missing a dose is frowned upon. I got this app called RxmindMe. It's actually so awesome and helpful. 

Quick side story- on the way to Clinton last night we had quite the gas scare. John, who insisted on taking his car instead of mine, pulled off the highway in the middle of nowhere (minus the beautiful lake to our right- see pin drop location below) and said "I'm literally on E right now, what do we do?" so I said "I have no idea, do you have triple A?, I've never run out of gas before."  And he said "I haven't either." Then I see a HUGE sign in front of us "Next Rest Area 26 Miles". GREAT. I wasn't mad at all, nor was I surprised, but I was actually laughing to myself a little and decided to take some pics. It seemed really typical even though "he hasn't either." So we called his mom who sensibly asked ok rest area 26 miles but what about exit. So I googled it, 9 miles ahead, Canajoharie. Thank god Betty Beavers, cash only, fuel stop was open for business....oh by the way, found out at dinner that this was not actually his first time running out of gas on a highway. Maybe his first time doing it where Dickie couldn't come save him but not his first time. "I haven't either," that's really cute. 

Oh and the time on our way home from Boston at 1am, on E, pull off the Watertown exit (not long after the awful marathon happenings), every gas station was closed and it was pitch black. Finally found a Hess after arguing over it. But for the record, he was driving in his vehicle, each time. Maybe I can invent an alarm that goes off when you have 1/4 tank. I still love him after all that. Also, for the record, AAA does come in handy. I have personally used them 10+ times, including several instances of locking my keys in my car (sometimes running, sometimes not) during my Siena days.

Now that I'm really off on non-medical tangents, let me get back to it.

Overall, my first week (only 4 days but still) went pretty well. I only got really tired on Friday around noon-ish but instead of going home, I decided I would sleep well that night instead. My hair has not started falling out yet. I have not been sick one night. I have a legitimate excuse for my current, over pale, some might say ghostly, skin. I guess the Cuban doesn't always come out in me. And it seemed like each day, the actual radiation process, got better, quicker, easier. That's enough positive in itself because if anyone watched that video, they would know, it's freaking creepy. 

Like heyyyyy- (Not me by the way. I haven't worked up the guts yet to creepily ask the technician to take my picture while I'm in there but I think I will. We're becoming besties.)

And the reason for the title of this post and for me not wanting to stop writing is because currently, John is still sound a sleep next to me and I'm bored and kind of hungry. I've been up since 8:30. 

Maybe I will just start getting ready for the Wedding now. It's never too soon!

And Laura, your most recent fundraising post was amazing and so are you. I love you and everyone for helping and supporting me so much. Currently working on that life size, cardboard cut out of you at the event. Anyone know someone who could assist?

Thank you SO MUCH for everything!!! What would I do without all of this amazing support?!

<3 Erica 

Thursday Treat(ment)

Third day of treatment. No side effects from either radiation or chemo quite yet but I don't think it's expected for at least a couple of weeks. The hardest part for me is deciding when to take the anti-nausea (Zofran) because they said an hour before the Temodar and the Temdoar right before bed but some nights I go to bed at 10 and some 12. Maybe 2 hours won't make a difference? Add it to my list of questions!

Today they put on country music for me (remembered from last Friday!) and the mask fit better and it was super quick. They called me in at 7:55 and I was done at 8:25! Once I start driving myself, I could be to work by 9 for sure :-)

I wonder if they have house music. That's what really used to get me going on my way to work!

Also, started the twice a week hair washing. How pretty.

And I have my first follow-up appointment with Dr. Weaver next Thursday, the 19th. Probably will have to have blood work done, maybe a scan, definitely some talking! She's great. 

I'm so happy that the Temodar hasn't made me sick yet! I think I will really enjoy my weekend now! Maybe a little cha-cha slide at the wedding. YOLO right.

(To that quote- every minute except when you're packing to go away for a weekend and unpacking when you get back- that I don't enjoy. lol) 

You'll hear from me soon!

<3 Erica

First day was a-ok!

So, radiation was fine this morning! It took about an hour and a half in total by the time I got called in, radiated on, moved around, talked to, etc. should be quicker as we do it daily. The mask was really tight and they had me listening to a little ACDC. I didn't mind that at all. As long as its not silent! Oh yeah, and it smells funny when they radiate. Almost like metal. And a few people have asked, there is no pain during the treatment.

Overall, thumbs up...

Now, I'm off to work. 

To add, the extremely nice technician, Kyle, moved my time to 8am as originally planned. I told him I wanted to hug him I was so happy. He said the water works on Friday really made him feel so bad so he moved the schedule around to get me in at 8! Thank you, Kyle! (He's very cute too for any single ladies out there...)

Medicine starts tonight... Pray for no negative side effects 🙏. Then I know I can take it on the weekends and not have to worry about anything going wrong. I have a wedding to attend this weekend in Syracuse so I'm really hoping it all goes smoothly! I am actually for the first time I think in my entire life going to wear a dress I bought for the night before graduation, again. Wearing a formal dress twice is just not heard of for me. We will see. 💃

Then a few weeks in the red skin, burning, irritated, and hair loss begins.. The joys of radiation therapy combined with chemo. I wish you could choose where the hair loss took place, that would be some business. People would be lined up for radiation. Legs, armpits, bikini line, where my eyebrows grow in too thick, yes please! Sign me up! Can I keep my head hair, brows and eyelashes? Great, thanks. 

Does anyone know of a way that I can post something to look for other grade 3 brain tumor patients in their 20's? You know like post it somewhere to have them reach out to my e-mail or something, which is en11word@gmail.com if anyone is wondering. Lemme know!

Peace and Love.

<3 Erica

Happy Labor Day

So, tomorrow I start radiation and chemotherapy. My time slot is 8:15am and will last through October 15th. I'm actually finally starting to get really nervous but I think it's going to be a-okay. Usually when I get nervous/anxiety, I just try to get as much stuff done as I can, even if the time doesn't permit it. So today, on Labor Day, a day to relax and celebrate working hard for the remainder of the year, I went grocery shopping, pharmacy shopping, did my laundry, did John's laundry, cleaned John's apartment, cleaned my apartment, went out to lunch, went to the car wash, went out to dinner, prepared my lunch for tomorrow, planned out my dinners for the rest of the week, laid out my outfits, cleaned my apartment again, cleaned out the fridge, walked home in the pooring rain from Dinosaur BBQ (that was fun) AND last but not least, I really cheated on my low sugar diet by splurging in a little froyo. I think it was worth it.

On Friday, I had a mini-tragedy/sob session after my dry-run. To start, everything was 30+ minutes behind schedule, they didn't have my mask ready in the room, two of the technicians went back and forth on whether or not I should take my lanyard/badge off (I think they should be on the same page there- I shouldn't be the one wondering), they never put music on even though they asked me what type I like to listen to twice, then to TOP IT OFF they said "see you at 3 on Tuesday to start your sessions" when I was specifically told on the phone last Tuesday that I would be seen at 8am so I told work that and when I have a plan in my head, that is IT and when things change I get a little, what should I say, emotional. You can ask John, plan changing is my absolute least favorite activity. Then they said, "why, does 3 not work for you?" and I'm thinking, well it's not convenient and I wish I wasn't told 8am but I mean, it has to work, doesn't it? But instead I just started sobbing and left the room. Then, 5 minutes later, the very nice tech came in the room I was in and said that they could squeeze me in at 8:15am because the woman who has the 8:30am slot is always late. TALK ABOUT A SIGH OF RELIEF. Also, talk about those technicians being lucky because I already had an entire e-mail written up in my head about to be sent to the office manager regarding my awful visit which quickly turned into an awesome visit as soon as the time changed back to first thing in the morning.

So, I plan on working through it all if anyone is looking for me.

http://youtu.be/xQ_73QgWlvI For anyone interested in the process of brain radiation. Around 1 min, 30 seconds, you can see the mask that they put on you, that clips into the bed so you can't move. I think that is my favorite part of this all. When it is over, I might have a metal bed like this installed into my bedroom and see if I can borrow the mask to clip in every night. I hope those of you who don't know me that well realize that this is the sarcastic paragraph of tonight's blog.

BTW- creepiest package I have ever received...

AND, something else I thought of tonight that I really didn't think of until tonight is the extremely poor timing of this whole thing. Although I realize that no time would be a "good" time to go through cancer diagnoses and treatments, check out this timeline.

Friday, June 28th - primary doctor finally orders a cat scan and let's me know on Friday afternoon that there is a "spot" on my brain that is most likely some form of growth/tumor but that we would need to have an MRI  on Monday, July 1 to find out more detail... "HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND THOUGH"

Monday, July 1st - MRI shows a definite growth but seems benign but will need to meet with an neurology oncologist and surgeon to find out the options which were (1) wait and see what happens, (2) needle biopsy which may or may not lead to surgery or (3) full on surgery... "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY THOUGH"

So, I chose the surgery to be done on July 16th which ended up being July 17th and pretty much from July 1st - today, I missed most of the summer, some of my best friends birthdays, planned work trips, vacations, etc. But no more holidays, which was good, oh WAIT, then it wasn't benign...time for treatments.. what better time to start then the week before my BIRTHDAY... of the 365 days of the whole year, my birthday has to fall in the 6 weeks of radiation. To be precise, there is a 11.5% chance of that happening.

At least after the 6 weeks of radiation, I have a 4 week BREAK (from about the 16th of Oct to November 12.) Can't wait fot that! During the break is Halloween, finally, a holiday off and the fundraiser. That is pretty cool actually. Then onto the definite 6 months of a higher dose chemotherapy, alone (through around May 2014) but up to a year. The doctor said I should be able to schedule things around the chemo days though, which was also good news. Like she said I should still be able to go to Italy with my mom, aunt Nikki, Lexi and co. in April 2014 which was quite the relief because it is in the process of being paid for and it is not cheap and per usual, we didn't sign up for insurance and it is (for me at least) a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Note to self and others- sign up for insurance for all trips. ANYTHING can happen even though you really don't think it will. 

Now that this was my most depressing blog yet, I wanted to say that I am still very happy and positive and have still been smiling and laughing EVERY day. Even when I think of all of that negative stuff, things can always be worse. Remember THAT people!!! You really should appreciate the little things in life.

Ok, hope this update was good for everyone. And thanks again to EVERYONE for all of the support/donations/gifts/love. I don't know how to thank you all enough. 

And thank you to everyone who have really gone out of their way to see me over the past couple months. It means more than you know. :-) 

 

Love you all! 
<3 Erica

Thirsty Thursday

Today the Temodar class went well! It was with another woman (maybe in her 60s, fully shaved head, just had surgery, it was really sad for me to see her) and her daughter was with her and then me! I was expecting an actual "class" like 20 people learning but really it was just us because we're doing the same treatment plan. She seemed a little disgruntled/upset because she has been just waiting on when to start treatments (I guess that is standard) and I could tell she was just waiting around, made a comment like she didn't know who was going to call who next or what to do. So I tried to make her laugh a little and said, you can just be like me and call every day, literally, multiple times a day. We're the ones that have cancer, not them. And she smiled :-) Then the instructor said "Actually Erica, there is a nurse in the back that wants to see you after this. She said she wants to put a face to the phone calls. She said she feels like you're best friends," and the other patient said, I guess you're not kidding about calling every day. NO I'M NOT!! lol

Here is my light reading for the evening "Introduction to Chemotherapy" - I'll let everyone know when I'm finished so they can borrow it. First to ask, first to receive.

So, tomorrow at 2pm I have my dry-run and starting treatments on Tuesday, September 3rd. The time slot I got was 8am for now. I think that is a perfect time! Then Tuesday night I will start all the medications they gave me. Yippee.. let's cross our fingers for no side effects the WHOLE TIME!

LBDNL (Last But Definitely Not Least), THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE FOR SHOWING ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH AND LOVE EVERYONE (EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY DID) SO MUCH!!!!

THANK YOU!!!

<3 Erica