Happy Labor Day

So, tomorrow I start radiation and chemotherapy. My time slot is 8:15am and will last through October 15th. I'm actually finally starting to get really nervous but I think it's going to be a-okay. Usually when I get nervous/anxiety, I just try to get as much stuff done as I can, even if the time doesn't permit it. So today, on Labor Day, a day to relax and celebrate working hard for the remainder of the year, I went grocery shopping, pharmacy shopping, did my laundry, did John's laundry, cleaned John's apartment, cleaned my apartment, went out to lunch, went to the car wash, went out to dinner, prepared my lunch for tomorrow, planned out my dinners for the rest of the week, laid out my outfits, cleaned my apartment again, cleaned out the fridge, walked home in the pooring rain from Dinosaur BBQ (that was fun) AND last but not least, I really cheated on my low sugar diet by splurging in a little froyo. I think it was worth it.

On Friday, I had a mini-tragedy/sob session after my dry-run. To start, everything was 30+ minutes behind schedule, they didn't have my mask ready in the room, two of the technicians went back and forth on whether or not I should take my lanyard/badge off (I think they should be on the same page there- I shouldn't be the one wondering), they never put music on even though they asked me what type I like to listen to twice, then to TOP IT OFF they said "see you at 3 on Tuesday to start your sessions" when I was specifically told on the phone last Tuesday that I would be seen at 8am so I told work that and when I have a plan in my head, that is IT and when things change I get a little, what should I say, emotional. You can ask John, plan changing is my absolute least favorite activity. Then they said, "why, does 3 not work for you?" and I'm thinking, well it's not convenient and I wish I wasn't told 8am but I mean, it has to work, doesn't it? But instead I just started sobbing and left the room. Then, 5 minutes later, the very nice tech came in the room I was in and said that they could squeeze me in at 8:15am because the woman who has the 8:30am slot is always late. TALK ABOUT A SIGH OF RELIEF. Also, talk about those technicians being lucky because I already had an entire e-mail written up in my head about to be sent to the office manager regarding my awful visit which quickly turned into an awesome visit as soon as the time changed back to first thing in the morning.

So, I plan on working through it all if anyone is looking for me.

http://youtu.be/xQ_73QgWlvI For anyone interested in the process of brain radiation. Around 1 min, 30 seconds, you can see the mask that they put on you, that clips into the bed so you can't move. I think that is my favorite part of this all. When it is over, I might have a metal bed like this installed into my bedroom and see if I can borrow the mask to clip in every night. I hope those of you who don't know me that well realize that this is the sarcastic paragraph of tonight's blog.

BTW- creepiest package I have ever received...

AND, something else I thought of tonight that I really didn't think of until tonight is the extremely poor timing of this whole thing. Although I realize that no time would be a "good" time to go through cancer diagnoses and treatments, check out this timeline.

Friday, June 28th - primary doctor finally orders a cat scan and let's me know on Friday afternoon that there is a "spot" on my brain that is most likely some form of growth/tumor but that we would need to have an MRI  on Monday, July 1 to find out more detail... "HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND THOUGH"

Monday, July 1st - MRI shows a definite growth but seems benign but will need to meet with an neurology oncologist and surgeon to find out the options which were (1) wait and see what happens, (2) needle biopsy which may or may not lead to surgery or (3) full on surgery... "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY THOUGH"

So, I chose the surgery to be done on July 16th which ended up being July 17th and pretty much from July 1st - today, I missed most of the summer, some of my best friends birthdays, planned work trips, vacations, etc. But no more holidays, which was good, oh WAIT, then it wasn't benign...time for treatments.. what better time to start then the week before my BIRTHDAY... of the 365 days of the whole year, my birthday has to fall in the 6 weeks of radiation. To be precise, there is a 11.5% chance of that happening.

At least after the 6 weeks of radiation, I have a 4 week BREAK (from about the 16th of Oct to November 12.) Can't wait fot that! During the break is Halloween, finally, a holiday off and the fundraiser. That is pretty cool actually. Then onto the definite 6 months of a higher dose chemotherapy, alone (through around May 2014) but up to a year. The doctor said I should be able to schedule things around the chemo days though, which was also good news. Like she said I should still be able to go to Italy with my mom, aunt Nikki, Lexi and co. in April 2014 which was quite the relief because it is in the process of being paid for and it is not cheap and per usual, we didn't sign up for insurance and it is (for me at least) a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Note to self and others- sign up for insurance for all trips. ANYTHING can happen even though you really don't think it will. 

Now that this was my most depressing blog yet, I wanted to say that I am still very happy and positive and have still been smiling and laughing EVERY day. Even when I think of all of that negative stuff, things can always be worse. Remember THAT people!!! You really should appreciate the little things in life.

Ok, hope this update was good for everyone. And thanks again to EVERYONE for all of the support/donations/gifts/love. I don't know how to thank you all enough. 

And thank you to everyone who have really gone out of their way to see me over the past couple months. It means more than you know. :-) 

 

Love you all! 
<3 Erica